Subscribe to RSS @
Many, many years ago my work took me to Sydney Australia for a few days. The first night I was there I was invited to the house of a friend for dinner and when I arrived I found the family clustered around a patio table all watching a somewhat ugly and biggish spider descending from above on it’s thread. For a fervent arachnophobe this was, of course, bad enough. What made it worse, however, was watching my friend as he consulted the ‘Guide’ – a government sponsored booklet enabling the identification of spiders to ascertain whether they were good for your long-term health.
It was at this precise moment that I made the easy decision that I did not want to ever live in Australia.
I tell this story because following my recent post Living With The Spider, I received a little gentle criticism (both published and unpublished) questioning the status of my manhood. These were quite obviously written by fortunate people who are phobia-free and I forgive them. If you have no phobias then I am sure it is hard to understand the sheer ferocity of the reaction.
And all this is leading up to the fact that Dave the spider has, at last, been evicted. (My wife named him Dave by the way and I shall name his predecessor at the same spot as Nancy). Nancy was evicted by my wife and eldest son while I was not there. The very next morning I found that Dave had moved in. It was not Nancy returning in a rage seeking revenge as I had first thought. This was Dave. And he was finally evicted yesterday in the old manor beloved of the friends of spiders everywhere – the glass and the envelope.
But after Dave took over from Nancy in the exact same spot in the roof, I really did expect to awake this morning to find another lodger had moved in. I mean this was very much starting to look like some kind of arachnid timeshare. I could imagine that somewhere out there, both Nancy and Dave roamed telling all their eight legged friends about this cool place they had stayed at and recommending they check it out. Or perhaps they have this information network where they can book my conservatory roof for a few nights. Called the ‘Web’ maybe.
Sorry. really sorry. Just couldn’t resist.
Groan.
Just for that, I think you should visit Liverpool this weekend.
(Sorry but I donno how to create hypertext in a comment)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052114/Pictured-The-30ft-mechanical-spider-terrorising-Liverpool.html
Silverbacks last blog post..There Be Sick People Here…………………….
Seems that I do !!
Silverbacks last blog post..There Be Sick People Here…………………….
I am more than comfortable in my masculinity…but my wife kills the spiders in our house…I deal with every other creature..it works.
thuds last blog post..Home sweet home?
@Silverback: What a horrible thought. Although seeing this flee down the Mersey Tunnel might be fun…
@thud: Oh I am comfortable in mine also. Not allowed to kill them though…
I guess I should apologize, Andy (*grovel**grovel*). I really was NOT questioning your manhood…just getting over the mindset I’ve lived with all my life…certain divisions of duty, swooning feminity, specific tools for specific genders (i.e., spanners for the blokes, mixing spoons for the ladies)…can I help it if I was brought up Old School?
By the way, you would not have been able to find a WORSE arachnaphobe on the planet than me…about 20 years ago (I was a bloomin’ marshmallow). I had to go and dress COMPLETELY, if one of the little suckers showed up when I was in my nightgown. I had to spray them from across the room (standing on a chair), and use a SHOVEL to remove the corpse. (YES, I KILLED THEM. If the Good Lord had wanted spiders to live in houses he would have given them little tool belts and architectural plans so they could build their own!)
What cured me, you ask? Living alone for eleven years. There was NO ONE (male or female) to call for help. I had to deal with them by myself. So now – although I still have the screaming meemies aftewards – I can dispatch the leggy little beasties myself.
Sorry you though I was questioning your virility…t’was not intended as such.
Jansy
@Jansy: Nah… it wasn’t what you said. It was someone from down under….
“starting to look like some kind of arachnid timeshare”
ROFL
Glad Dave has been evicted! I too am somewhat arachnophobic, though not too badly… which is good considering my profession! My friends all think it’s hilarious that I think spiders are creepy…
@Jeanine: if I wasn’t so phobic I’d think it was hilarious too!
Are you coming our way this year?