Subscribe to RSS @
I took my JDOCD afflicted wife to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 the other day. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say that she took me. Either way I was a willing participant. She was, of course, looking forward to two and a half hours of damp knicker time swooning over Johnny and I was looking forward to what I hoped would be a fun film. Anyway – Keira was in it.
Having bought our tickets but before we left the foyer, I asked if she wanted anything to eat or drink. After all, I admit that I am not against the odd box of popcorn. She looked at me in absolute horror and confided that whenever she watched Johnny Depp in a movie there was no way she could eat at the same time.
So there you have it. The Johnny Depp Diet Plan. Whenever you’re feeling peckish and day-dreaming of a hot bacon sandwich quickly stuff a Depp DVD into the player and lose yourself for a couple of hours. Brilliant! Why don’t more people know about this?
This is, of course, a diet plan that is for women only. OK, that’s not quite accurate. Let’s say mainly for women!
The only problem with that diet is my husband and I are planning on seeing Pirates and Cars at the local Drive-in this weekend and that would mean I’m skipping dinner and probably my only meal of the day!
I’ll take it you enjoyed Pirates..or at least Keira!
@Eliza:
As to the film, I have to be a little circumspect here… let’s just say that I thought the first Pirates film was a hoot.
So – skip food for your obsession
Yes Andy tis true, for some at least the Depp diet really does work. I too can’t eat and watch him at the same time with the exception of Rum and coke and black cherries. (not sure what that says about me.)
So you didn’t like the second as much as the first. It gets better with repeated viewing you know. something I fear you may not be able to avoid….
Oh dear. Andy, you didn’t LIKE the second film? Well, mate, I think it’s fair to say that unless you’re a rabid…er…devoted Johnny Depp fan and JDOCDer, you’ll need to see it at least once more…and possibly twice…to really appreciate it.
And even if you don’t (somehow I get the feeling you’ll resist the suggestion), you have to admit that there were parts that were quite funny. Sight gags, play-on-words types of lines, physical comedy….unless you’re going to be tedious and get all uptight and fussy about the non-PC cannibal bits (it IS fantasy, you know, not a social commentary and dissertation on the early history of the indigenous peoples of the West Indies)…
And the makeup was good, don’t you think? And the special effecfts? Keira in trousers?
And Johnny? Johnny was gorgeous…oops, sorry. I mean, it was nice to see him reprise the role, right?
Your Johnny Depp stories of your wife crack me up.
BTW, I went on the 9th to see the movie in Woking, which apparently is where my friend’s new house is. I agree with you that I much prefered the first movie. I did like the voodoo witch though.
@Jansy
Yes – I’ll watch it again but I do that with all films – second time around you don’t bring expectations to the table. First time round though I thought it was pretty awful. Muddled, confused. Distinct lack of new jokes but plenty of repeats from Pirates 1 and a desperate but ill-conceived need to bring all of the original characters in. We could have done without Norrington for example. And there is no way that Cutler could have had the Governor in chains. Sloppy. One good joke! I sat there for two and a half hours for one good joke! – ‘Hide the rum’.
So I guess I’m going to upset a lot of fans here. The first film was a delight. The second a travesty. `i might try and forget the third but I doubt I’ll have that option.
@N Mallory:
Thanks. Agree on the voodoo witch. So it’s the voodoo witch and the rum joke!
As an Englishman though, I have to apologise for Woking
I loved Woking. I thought it was charming. I especially thought the big tripod in the center of town was amusing.
@N Mallory
I beg forgiveness. I should not be rude about Woking or it’s martian tripod. To be fair it has been a long time since I passed through Woking so I am unfit to judge or criticise. As the ‘real’ starting place for ‘War of the Worlds’ it sure beats New York
Hello, enjoyed your thoughts. I’m an American female, married, with definite JDOCD. Think my daughter’s getting it too. Had to laugh at a lot of your musings. They were definitely familiar, though I’ve never actually seen The Man.
@Anni
Well Anni that seems to be an important step. At the recent Pirates premiere one member of the group having stood out in the boiling sun all day was literally (I am told) having to be held up by other people. One look in the eyes from ‘The Man’ and she was totally restored to health and vitality. So it’s not just diet this guys good for…
My friend took her husband to see it and he too did not like it as much as the first….his reason?
Not enough Johnny in it!! he has gone up in my estimation LOL.
I have to say I love Bill Nighy but his Davy Jones was not a patch on Rush’s Barbossa.
@jeni
There is another reason I didn’t much like the film actually. I want a movie to have a start a middle and an ending. I thoroughly dislike the fact that it didn’t conclude. Nothing was tied up at all. To me, a movie should be a complete package that stands or falls by itself – I shouldn’t have to wait a year to see how the story pans out.
I didn’t want to mention that because it’s kind of a spoiler, but I don’t like movies that end with no resolution either. It’s the main reason I didn’t see the 2nd two LoTR movies or MATRIX in the theater, nor have I ever seen Kill Bill. I have no patience for that.
If I’d known ahead of time, I probably wouldn’t have gone to see the movie in the theater.
@N. Mallory:
You’re right. Apologies, as I guess in a weird sort of way it is a spoiler but I’d call it a positive one
I think there are some instances where it doesn’t matter. With Lord of the Rings you knew what you were getting and that was OK. The first Matrix movie was complete (like Pirates but you’re right on the second two). Even the original three Star Wars movies worked standalone.
When you start to do what they have done with Pirates 2 then it is basically just a very long soap opera.
It seems perhaps I’ve found a kindred spirit. Andy, you and I concur completely about DMC. (Jansy darlin’, I’m sorry luv.) As my crew now knows, through several posts on our interactive site, I really really disliked DMC. I know that most of my fellow JDOCD’ers loved it, simply because Johnny was 15 feet tall again, but I was so greatly disappointed in it….for all the reasons you mention Andy, and more.
I’ve seen it twice and I’ve stated categorically that a spike through my eye sounds like more fun than sitting through another 2 1/2 hours of that movie. I’m fully aware that this leaves me wide open for permanent banishment from any and all Johnny sites, but it’s a sad fact that I can’t deny.
I knew (as did probably most JDOCD’ers) what the ending of DMC would be, so that came as no disappointment. If you want to read a really excellent critic’s review of the film, which includes many Hitchcock, Freudian and sexual references, read this article. We all found it very funny, whether we agreed with the man or not.
http://pub44.bravenet.com/forum/3712231886/fetch/756093/
@laura:
Enjoyed the review – thanks for that and for the support!
Hi this is sivester…….
I’ve seen it twice and I’ve stated categorically that a spike through my eye sounds like more fun than sitting through another 2 1/2 hours of that movie.
We all found it very funny, whether we agreed with the man or not.
hi,
thats a great idea for diet , but the choice of the movie is the key part so as to make it a men diet only use a DVD with angilina or salma
not only you will loose dinner but you will also swet your fat out in the great effort you will do to keep your self from blinking
thanks