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- Take an area of our planet that we in the so-called ‘west’ refer to as the ‘Middle East’. Roll it out flat on the table. Liberally add the Arabs, Egyptians (etc.,) that we prepared earlier.
- Create a country right in the middle. Left… left… up a bit. That’ll do.
- Displace the people living there. Put them to one side as you will need them later for oppression.
- Liberally sprinkle the new country with the Jews we gathered from all over the globe.
- Let your new country make friends with arrogant nations around the world but with none of the nations on your table. Don’t let them mix too much or the edges will bleed.
- Take the oil and add liberally and randomly to many of the existing nations of the area. No… more than that. Keep pouring, keep pouring, nearly there. Stop when you reach dependency levels. And then add a bit more.
- Let it fester for 20 years.
- Allow for one of the oldest nations on the table to attack your new country and get ingloriously whipped. Your country should have just got a bit bigger.
- Let it fester for another 30 years.
- While festering, create a new side dish of radical, fundamentalist thinking. If you do this right, and it’s not that tricky, it should have basically no moral framework at all. Later on we will use this to spread death, terror and panic. It will probably spill over the edge of the table. Let it as you will be unable to contain it.
- If everything is fermenting as it should, you will notice the odd tyrant bubble to the surface, the occasional neighbourly skirmish and the odd bit of old fashioned death and destruction.
- At the same time your new country will become even more friendless in the region and will continue to oppress the people we put to one side earlier.
- After the latest festering, take the fuse and place one end in the middle of the table.
- Unreel the fuse wire off the table and take the other end to your nearest country that claims itself to be the worlds only Superpower. You can’t miss it as it is very big, very loud and, at this point in history, very stupid. Give them the other end of the fuse.
- Hide in your wardrobe.
- Pass the time in your wardrobe by thinking about the mess you’ve left on your table. Give some thought to close neighbours and nuclear powers India and Pakistan who don’t like or trust each other. Think about all that oil that America, Europe and the burgeoning industry of India and China needs. Think about the radical Islamists who at best want to turn their backs and their countries on western culture. Think about the reactionary rise of the right-wing Christian fundamentalist determined to convert eveything in it’s path. Think about Iran possibly becoming a nuclear power. Think about Iran making the rallying call to wipe Israel off the map.
- Start screaming whenever you’re ready.
6 Responses to “Todays Recipe”
Somebody on the wrong side of the Atlantic agrees with me over Israel! Praise Allah!
What on earth possessed the founders of the Israeli state to establish it in the middle of Arab countries that vowed to wipe it off the face of the earth at the first opportunity? And what on earth possessed the Americans to supply them with the necessary military hardware to fight at least one war with every single one of their neighbours and to invade and continue to occupy both the Palestinian state and the UN-mandated City of Juerusalem?
The amount of UN resolutions Israel has ignored, even discounting the ones that the US has vetoed, makes Iraq’s record look positively glowing. As usual it’s one law for the US and Israel and another for the rest of the world.
Hi again wonkotsane. You’re going to need to explain to me which is the ‘wrong side of the Atlantic’ please ?
Basically I agree with you and this is why I just believe that the whole region is WW3 waiting to happen. You have Saudi Arabia waiting to implode. Egypt. The Iraq mess. Now Iran getting thuggish again. Hundreds of radicals spreading the word. The rest of the world dependent upon middle east oil. And a right-wing, old testament/Christian (I know) led USA with attitude.
Then, as I have stated in these pages before, you criticise Israel and they play the anti-Semitic card when in fact, it’s not anti-semitic but anti-Zionist.
The sanest response I have heard so far regarding the Iran statement comes from Palestine which was, in effect, concentrate on putting Palestine on the map, not getting Israel off of it.
The wrong side of the Atlantic? The side that England isn’t on. :p
I agree, it’s a ludicrous situation that we find ourselves in.
I think the Palestinian statement was sensible and encouraging. With that kind of public backing from Iran it would have been easy to come out with something similar but they didn’t. I totally agree with what they said – the important thing is to get Palestine back on the map instead of wiping Israel off it.
Israel is there to stay, it’s not going anywhere. We should all be concentrating our efforts on getting Israel out of Palestine and Jerusalem, both of which it is illegally occupying.
Now wait for the barrage of abuse from the followers of that great religon “Americanism” telling us how racist we are for criticising Israel’s state-sponsored terrorism.
Have you read How to make friends and blow up people yet?
We need to get one important item straight here and that is I am on the same side of the Atlantic as you. Well – most of the time!
Why did I have it in my mind that you lived in the States?
Beats me! Anchored here in Cambridgeshire at the moment…