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The triumph last week enjoyed by our English Test Cricket team, has caused many to re-introduce the subject of an English Anthem, re-enforced by the recent football game between England and Wales where once again, England was represented by the British dirge of ‘God Save the Queen’. This call has gone out amongst members of the Witanagemot Club and beyond, with a poll being raised at The Campaign for an English Parliament. What I don’t understand at all is why the front-runner appears to be Jerusalem. There must surely be other, better and more worthy candidates.
The call for an English Anthem or Song is, of course, nothing new and in the early years of the 1960’s a perfect candidate was written by one of our greatest humorists, Michael Flanders. I call for its immediate adoption as our English Anthem especially as, in the ensuing 40 years, it has become so deliciously politically incorrect.
So, in Flanders own words (and remember, this was around 1960):
You know, it’s a curious thing, I don’t know if you’ve ever thought of this, but England hasn’t really got a national song, you know, just for England; there’s plenty for Great Britain. That’s quite different. You have to be very careful how you use these terms, too. The rule is: if we’ve done anything good, it’s “another triumph for Great Britain” and if we haven’t, it’s “England loses again”. Have you noticed that?
All the others, they’ve got songs about their countries, you know, the Scots, like “Scotland for aye” (or for “me” as it should more properly be). And the Welsh and the Irish have got songs saying how marvelous they are and making rude remarks about the English in their own languages. In the case of the Welsh I think this is the pot calling the saucepan “bach”.
What English national song have we got? “Jerusalem” . . . “There’ll always be an England”. Well, that’s not saying much, is it? I mean, there’ll always be a North Pole, if some dangerous clown doesn’t go and melt it.
I think that the reason for this is that in the old days - you know, the good old days when I was a boy - people didn’t, we didn’t bother in England about nationalism. I mean, nationalism was on its way out. We’d got pretty well everything we wanted and we didn’t go around saying how marvelous we were - everybody knew that - any more than we bothered to put our names on our stamps. I mean, there’s only two kinds of stamps: English stamps in sets at the beginning of the album, and foreign stamps all mixed at the other end. Any gibbon could tell you that.
But nowadays nationalism is on the up and up and everybody has a national song but us. The Americans have national songs, like “My country ’tis of thee”, which they sing to the tune of “God save the Queen”, I may say, and which together with their long range forecasting of our weather I find hard to forgive. Yes, and the Germans - and whatever you say about the Germans (and who doesn’t) - what a marvelous song that was: “German, German overalls”. Now there’s a song.
Well, the moment has come, and none too soon; we have a song here which, I think, fills this long-felt want and I hope that all true-born English men and women in our audience will join in the last chorus. And if you don’t have the good fortune to be English true-born, or a man, or a woman, I hope you’ll join in as an ordinary mark of simple decent respect. This song starts with, I think, a very typical English understatement.
The English, the English, the English are best
I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest.
The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We’ve left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You’ll find he’s a stinker, as likely as not.
The Scotsman is mean, as we’re all well aware
And bony and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salty porridge, he works all the day
And he hasn’t got bishops to show him the way!
The English, the English, the English are best
I wouldn’t give tuppence for all of the rest.
The Irishman now our contempt is beneath
He sleeps in his boots and he lies through his teeth
He blows up policemen, or so I have heard
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third!
The English are noble, the English are nice,
And worth any other at double the price
The Welshman’s dishonest and cheats when he can
And little and dark, more like monkey than man
He works underground with a lamp in his hat
And he sings far too loud, far too often, and flat!
And crossing the Channel, one cannot say much
Of French and the Spanish, the Danish or Dutch
The Germans are German, the Russians are red,
And the Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed!
The English are moral, the English are good
And clever and modest and misunderstood.
And all the world over, each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practice beforehand which ruins the fun!
The English, the English, the English are best
So up with the English and down with the rest.
It’s not that they’re wicked or natuarally bad
It’s knowing they’re foreign that makes them so mad!
Perhaps English football fans should copy the Wales fans and start booing God Save the Queen? Might make a few of these complacent smug politicians and commentators wake up!
Land of Hope and Glory!
nuff zed…
Excellent suggestion. But any song by Flanders & Swann would represent the English equally as well. The Gas Man Cometh, or perhaps Mud, Mud, Glorius Mud, because everyone knows it.
Some would suggest G&S’s Pinafore, but that would immediately make one think of Anna Russell, and then where would we be? Back to bagpipes. No thank you. The Scots can keep their bagpipes (which they play quite well, considering the circumstances) and Harry Lauder as well.
How about ‘Slow Train’? That would work as well.
Now I have a problem with Anna Russell…. I didn’t know who she was and sadly (now I have read up on her) have never heard her DIY G & S routines. But now I rather think I’d like to. But I can’t connect her to bagpipes…? She seemed to be half English - half Canadian as far as I can see. And now I’m curious…
Hello there, I am looking for support for the following Petition.
Please Help and pass on: Petition Link
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to commission ideas for a NEW National Anthem for England and hold a referendum on the issue
The Queen is not an English preserve, Her Majesty is Queen to a lot of Faithful Countries.
God Save the Queen should be reserved for when the Queen is present and at sporting events it should be played before the English and Visiting Nations Anthem.
Land of Hope & Glory & Rule Britannia have been ruled remnants of the Empire.
Perhaps now would be the time to create an English Anthem for our future.
Cheers
Andrew Rowland
Anthem4england
Now sing we all our song
England’s where we belong
This is our land
Freedom from tyranny
Despite our history
It’s where we want to be
This is our land
People of every hue
Doing what they want to do
This is our land
Welcoming visitors
Proudly to these our shores
Then show them to the door
This is our land
Townscape and countryside
We have got nowt to hide
This is our land
Sing this out all together
In all our kinds of weather
For ever and ever and ever
THIS IS OUR LAND