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The Rt. Hon. Tony Charles Lynton Blair 10 Downing Street, London, SW1A 2AA |
5th September 2005 |
Dear Tony
Apologies for writing again so soon but it’s very important you read this before you sack all the non-English born cabinet members re my letter of the 4th. Because, you see, thanks to a good friend who goes by the odd name of Waking Hereward, I have discovered that I missed one. To be frank, I am appalled that I missed her but she is obviously trying to hide her true identity.
I speak of the Secretary of State for Health, Patricia Hewitt. She’s a bloody Australian! Yes – I am sure you are as surprised as me. Born in Canberra. Who would have known?
Now I have had a great idea for getting this whole ‘English Born Only’ new cabinet off to a flying start while at the same time giving a boost to the whole England nation. Sack her on Thursday morning, just before the final Test Match starts! Demoralise the Aussie’s who obviously think they have a highly placed operative in the government – no doubt working secretly to keep the health of the English cricket team in a poor state. It will be quite a coup will it not?
I look forward to the announcement Thursday morning. I will be glued to BBC News 24 in hot anticipation. In the meantime, I will give some thought to your own predicament.
Fondest regards to the kids
Errrr,
I’ve found another one. Secretary of State for Education, Ruth Kelly is Irish….
Born in 1968. In Limavady, County Londonderry, Northern Ireland.
And to be honest, I’m not convinced that Minister without Portfolio, Ian McCartney hasn’t eaten a haggis or two in his lifetime. If you listen very, very carefully, you can just make out the merest hint of a Scottish brogue, possibly?.
I had some problems with both of these two. As per usual, the biographies of the women like to be vague about the age so they don’t mention the year and then leave out the place as well! As for McCartney, I looked long and hard and gave him the benefit of the doubt but like you, not totally convinced. I’ll save Kelly for a while…. pick my moment
I must protest! Ruth Kelly should not be saved from anything nasty. If sacking her is all we’re doing, well, so be it, but she should be expelled from all positions of responsibility before she does some real damage (I hope Tony’s reading this and taking note).
This is a very good point. There is something horribly 1970’s right wing activist about her isn’t there….? Something I can’t quite put my finger on but sends a chill up my spine whenever I hear her talk.